Thud, thud, thud, my heart bounded in my ears as I looked around the room. I could feel the fear and anxiety closing in around me, suffocating me in the process. I felt so alone as my thoughts raced and my body shook. Was this my new reality? Panic attacks?
This is NOT something I wanted to share with the world, panic attacks... how shameful. I am a writer, speaker, and aspiring author, not someone who is suppose to experience this. What a naive thought... and worse I perceive *admitting* a struggle as weakness. I held this secret close to my heart, battling for months with fear and anxiety. I refused to tell a soul for the fear that admitting this *shame* would cause others to look down on me. I have heard the "grace message" I have walked the "faith message" and both caused to me to overlook the "love message." The last few months I have quoted 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." However I missed a vital tool, the determining factor of "perfect love." That kind of love has a name and His name is Jesus. However many of us, whether you realize it or not, have been walking around with soul wounds. When all we see is our wounds that perfect love becomes a shadow and allows fear to enter. It wasn't until I sat in a room with a few close individuals and admitted my struggles and the root of this said doubt; only then could my soul begin the process of healing. Battling fear and anxiety is just that, a battle that can be overcome. I believe we can walk in complete healing of these struggles, however we can not do it alone and we can not do it in secret. Our Spirit has been perfected through Christ but our soul and body live in a fallen world and need healing and wholeness. The way we are defeated is by convincing ourselves that strong Christians walk alone. This lie defeats and destroys our calling and our overall peace of mind. We are not suppose to walk alone, we are suppose to function as the Body of Christ and together we conquer, together we win. My soul purpose of this post is to inform and inspire. If you are drowning in fear, defeat, and anxiety hovers over your vision, reach out and ask for help. Shame and guilt will rob your peace if you let it. We overcome by the power of OUR testimony and the sharing of our struggles and need for redemption. We are living in a time where it is all to common to lose someone to fear and anxiety. We walk by *them* everyday and assume they are okay, because they have been told to *act* like they are okay. Friends, this lifestyle has caused us to miss it. Perfect love DOES cast out all fear and that POWER lives on the inside of you. Our soul mission should be to offer a hand and pull others out of their depth of despair, Christian and Heathen alike! I do not have all the answers, but I do know that sharing my story makes me strong and asking for help makes me brave. In the words of a wise counsel, "bringing anxiety attacks under to the lights and out of the darkness kills its perceived power." We were not made for isolation, so draw closer and find power and strength through community, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
